Open Her: Activate 7 Masculine Powers to Arouse Your Woman's Love & Desire

Karen Brody is an exceptional writer, woman and human being. Through her experiences that she so eloquently put into words to have published, she gave me a lot to learn, digest and become, as a man. When I first read Open Her back in 2015, it was unlike anything I'd ever read before it and it became a segue into an area of relating to women that has changed my life for the better in ways no other book has, ever. When I discovered Open Her, I was in the middle of learning from books like Charlie Houpert's "The Anti Pick Up Line", Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man", Shaunti Feldhahn's "For Men Only", Bruce Bryan's "Attract the Right Girl" and John Gottman's "What Makes Love Last" and while I'd suggest all of those books to any man who is serious about finding and choosing a good woman to be in a relationship with, Open Her has a strong lead on all of them for a couple of very important reasons. Karen Brody touches on subjects very few people talk about. (As it turns out, if you're looking you will find more but only if you're paying attention.) I mean even John Gottman, a leading authority on relationships, doesn't talk about this stuff and it's important! Those subjects include the intimate emotional and sexual dynamic between a man and a woman and how, as a man, to ensure you're continually engaging a woman's desire for you. These are very subtle things that, in my experience, most people just gloss over and even ignore. But you can't ignore them if you want the real thing. Authors like John Gottman are great at helping recover from betrayal and cultivate love in current relationships but he doesn't talk about the process of cultivating desire starting from the beginning of a relationship. Bruce Bryan and Charlie Houpert are great at helping you stay confident in who you are as a man and not letting yourself fall for woman just because she's beautiful and sexy but they could never walk you through what is going on inside a woman's body and mind because they aren't women. In my experience of this book, Karen Brody described the inner workings of a woman's emotional, psychological and physiological responses to a man's actions, behavior, integrity and very being using very personal experiences of her own with men she has been with. It doesn't get better than that. Why not? Because the most confusing thing in existence is women. There is no detailed diagram, manual or map that leads the way. A woman changes her mind from one moment to the next and to a man this is very confusing because she is absolutely convinced, no matter what her momentary feelings, that what she is feeling in the moment is correct. This often leaves men completely at a lose as to how to deal with her. This book provides the insight necessary to pick up the pieces and begin forming a solid framework of understanding of what goes on with women in moments like these but you MUST digest it intently without arguing against it or fighting it in any way. Then, incorporate the suggestions into your life. There were several times I wanted to argue with her on points she made but accepted them as reality and it has made me a better man as a result. What's more is her words very directly, yet with love, tell a man how to step into his own power and reclaim it, something cultural norms have taught men to give up. I can personally attest, over 3 years after reading this book, that it is life changing material. Since reading Open Her, I have taken two months of coaching from her and also taken two weekend workshops that are directly related to the material she presents in this book. I've learned from David Deida, one of her teachers and from some other devout David Deida "followers" and I will gladly continue advancing in my understanding of the insight Karen offers through this book and those other leaders in this hidden field of deep and meaningful relating. This book and the many related resources and experiences I've discovered and been through as a result of having read it have helped me move past my greatest challenges with women that I developed from early childhood parental conditioning. I've dissolved fears that held me back and become very skilled at consciously connecting with women in ways that I would not have been able to without this book. Thank you, Karen for this gift! This review is long overdue. I told Karen a couple years ago that I would write this review. I hope you read this, Karen. :) Some quotes from Open Her that have personally helped wake me up to the reality of a woman's experience and how to be the sort of man that quickly and easily engages a woman's desire include: "A woman wants to know deep in her heart that she can inspire you. She wants to know that her love and presence as well as her wisdom and beauty inspire you to create something of meaning in the world. She wants to pervade you like breath or sunshine. If her love inspires you and moves you to make a difference in the world, she is a success." (p. 64, para 5) "You choose a woman to spend time with , or spend you life with, because she brings a sensibility, wisdom, and perspective you don't have. Your leadership with her is only as good as your ability to embrace her power. No woman will follow your lead if you aren't open to and welcoming of her input. If you use force, criticism, threats, or control, she might cater to you, but she'll never follow you." (p 62, para 6) "When you don't lead yourself and your life or take the lead with the woman you love, you leave a vacuum of masculine leadership. That empty space feels unsettling to a woman, so she will step in. She'll become directional and pointed. She'll make the plans, tell you what to wear, choose your dentist, police your diet. And while you might think this is sort of a nice perk, I assure you she won't want to devour you at the end of the day." (p. 50, para 4)

Brilliant. I'm a sucker for a good archetype discussion, anyway, but this book is a step above. As a woman, I resonated quite soundly with a lot of what is written here, as it offered much clarity in honoring what I desire and value in opportunities for intimate relating. I recently went through the heart-rending breakup of a long-term relationship, and this book offered an amazing amount of insight and validation regarding what happened during the years I was with my previous partner. For me, the material is healing because it helps me further distinguish what was mine to address and control and what was truly his own journey and not under my influence in the slightest. In my particular case, the chapters on The Director and The Dark Knight were familiar enough to bring tears... because I see so clearly how my partner's inability to claim his masculinity appropriately in those areas created so much resistance in him that it literally poisoned other areas that were once not problems at all (for example, being unable to see or accept my true intentions... and being unable to engage his own Artist, Poet, or Sage). While the title is "Open HER," I found a lot to chew on as far as the reasons why a MAN might close himself to a woman, and many of those reasons are of his own making. This is not to place blame on him unnecessarily, as men have been socialized in ways that, frankly, can be emasculating. I applaud Brody in working with men to overcome this socialization to help them claim their full, healthy masculinity, which in turn helps us women claim our full, healthy femininity. I will be sharing this book with my new love, who is thankfully eager for the hand-off now that I'm done reading it. One word of "warning:" in reading this book, I have a feeling that there is potential for knee-jerk reactions to some of the generalizations that Brody makes therein. I do appreciate her clarity in emphasizing distinctions between worn stereotypes and using archetypes to examine our deep inclinations and desires. I fear that there is a lot in this book that will be taken out of context, devoid of these explanations and clarifications, to discredit the material. I haven't seen such in these Amazon reviews thus far, but should they appear, I would recommend that readers review ALL the material and thoughtfully digest what the author is really saying. One brief example on page 171 (The Lover): "When you don't demonstrate confidence and sexual leadership, and you let a woman lead, a woman's sexual attraction for you dies. So while you're trying to be Mr. Nice Guy and pretend you're not chasing her tail, she's fantasizing about a guy who won't take her crap and crumble at 'no.'" Without a thorough reading of the material, you may infer several incorrect assumptions regarding what the author is saying. You may think she is suggesting it's okay for a man to force himself on a woman sexually, which she is not. (Later on the same page: "You can't force a woman to have sex with you - obviously - at least not morally or legally. Your having a choice has nothing to do with disregarding hers. Your choice is characterized by how you choose to think and feel - and also how you choose to respond to her choices. This is precisely what distinguishes a sexually powerful man from a not-so-sexually powerful man.") You may assume the author means that a woman never wants to take the lead in sex, which also is not true. From discussing sex to discussing making plans, the author stresses that the leadership women tend to appreciate has nothing to do with oppression, dominance, or insensitivity to her opinions and desires. She points out multiple times that following a man's lead often inspires a woman to co-lead or partner with her man in ways she would not have been able to do without his initiative. She asserts time and again that women are capable of leading themselves - and others - and happily do it all the time... but when we are forced to lead a man in a relationship, usually because of his passivity or failure to take responsibility for himself, there will be a consequence as far as desire for him is concerned. My own thought is that there are also consequences in terms of manipulative relating tactics... it encourages women to attempt to dominate and control their partners, out of fear or frustration - or even practicality... and Brody alludes to this in the book as well. One thing I think she gets right in this regard: women do not appreciate repeatedly being forced into the lead - it causes resentment, and we don't feel cared for. I might have disputed this before my last relationship, as I'm a strongly independent woman with quite a bit of "yang" energy and have no problem taking the lead. After years of living with a passive man, I see how true it is. So the advice I offer is to read the material thoroughly - don't skim. Brody does take the time to present her ideas clearly and thoroughly, but if you take things out of context, you're going to get a very different idea of what she is suggesting, which could actually prove destructive. Good news is that it's an easy, enjoyable read, so it shouldn't be an issue unless you have terrific problems with lack of focus or reading comprehension.

This book is great, it really helped me to understand myself and look at what I do everyday. I feel like I was honestly almost 75% complete as a man, but this book showed me I actually had a lot of dark aspects in play all the time. That in turn allowed me to really focus on getting myself together just that last bit and in turn it's really helped me to turn around my marriage. My wife use to tell me she never thinks about sex at all, and doesn't see the point of it beyond making babies. Now I get messages during the day telling me she can't wait to see me, can't stop thinking about my penis and how she fantasized now about the last time we made love or the time we made love at X spot. I honestly didn't believe her at first, I even called her a liar and said she was just saying this stuff to placate me. She didn't get mad at me for saying that, she just started to weep quietly and wanted to be held. I didn't run from her at this point, I turned around a faced her. It really hit home then, reminded me of the scene Karen related in the book when she's tied to the bedpost and she breaks down and begs her partner to come back and love her. There is no begging or negotiating or setting dates for sex anymore. A light touch from me, and I'll feel the set of her shoulders soften, she'll put away what she's doing and just melt into me. Or it's a text I get at home something as simple as "love you ;)" while she's working or out with the girls and later I'll be woken up by her pressing herself into me, trying almost to climb into my skin to get close enough to satisfy her. Sex doesn't always happen at these times, but when it does it's so complete and mind blowing every time. 12 years of reading each others little movements and tones of voice and hints and pure love put into complete unconscious coordination for 20 minutes or 2 hours. Now if only I could go back in time and give this book to my 18 year old self instead of getting it at 36!

Absolutely love this book. The archetypes ring very true. And i can see how aplying them will make my woman blossom and make me feel like who i want to be. Now comes the exciting challenge of applying the very practical instructions karen gives. She knows she is talking to men.

This book has provided a huge missing link for me and I sense that the insights Karen has shared will be incredibly important for me and my journey towards wholeness as a man. It has been a challenging book for me to read because it has shown me all of the ways in which I have hidden myself, and sadness at this arose in me, but as Karen says, the invitation is now to set this straight and I have to say that literally within hours of coming into contact with this book my relationships with women have been transformed. Thanks to Karen I have found the strength to push into my edge of fearing initiating contact with women who I am attracted to and I am practicing seeing and celebrating the women I have met that way. As a result I can feel a new depth of connection becoming available. I can see that my challenge is to maintain my integrity and honour what is best for me in relationships. I am really looking forward to practicing how to genuinely connect with women from a place of love for myself and for her. This is a loving and generous book that really seeks to support and inspire men. I have never felt this passionately about the importance of a book or to write a review in this depth. Thank you Karen for your important contribution to my life.

A very good book with 7 manly core points to work upon. A must book for every man on earth

This book is the first one within at least a decade which I read (in fact: listened on Audible) from the beginning to the end, and eventually purchased the paper version. To me this book feels to be transformational, it recalibrates and to a small extent fortifies my basic believings on feminine desires and behaviours. I wish I would have found and read this book thirty years ago as a young adult seeking a partner and wishing eventually to found a family. Crossing the storms of parenthood the book would have been a solid anchor to be reminded of the foundational pillars of connection, desire and love. The pleasantly readable wisdoms from the condensate of personal experience blended with a wealth of coaching experiences makes it a unique treasure. It is food for thoughts, the text needs to sink in, and might suggest changes in attitude for the men looking for a change, which is a long lasting process. The book claims seven archetypes to be the pillars of masculinity and source of feminine attraction. These archetypes are nicely illustrated with life stories mainly around the time when couples meet, to illustrate the foundation of the chemistry. However there is few advice around how avoid the grinding down of the emotional connection in the course of decades of being together and struggling to balance relationship with work and kids, don't expect that, it is not the scope of this book. As the book needs time to digest it is also difficult to find the right moment for a comprehensive appreciation; that moment might be only months or years after reading. Nevertheless, having read this book only recently I still feel like leaving these thoughts to help promoting the ideas, being very grateful to have found my way to this gem.